Friday, July 15, 2011

Heaven And Other Wild Truths

Heaven!!! ... Have you got your ticket?
Did ya ever just sit and wonder what heaven would be like? I am sure we all have different ideas. I bought one of those tickets for a lottery worth 162 million the other day. But even if I won ... it wouldn't be like heaven to me. It sure sounds real good and I would certainly find things to do with some of it but ... what's the point of thinking heaven is like winning 162 million when you have already lived most of your life.
I heard about a guy who won a big lottery when he was in his mid-eighties. He must have yelled, "Yee Haw", and then zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!
I think I would imagine having marmalade on toast was like heaven if I made it to my eighties.
"Bill! BILL! BILL! You won ONE HUNDRED and SIXTY-TWO MILLION dollars."
"Oh, that's nice. Did you say the marmalade was at the back of the bottom shelf or on the front of the top shelf? Have you got any of that WHOLE wheat bread?"
Heaven has to be a place where you are in your PRIME TIME. I know I ain't gonna look like this! My wings are gonna be sassy and big to carry me around! So if you're looking for me up there ... I won't be looking like Lumpey Rutherford from Leave It To Beaver. We will all be looking great compared to the mess we are now. As Billy Crystal used to say, "You know it's better to look good than to feel good" ... but in heaven you're gonna feel good too.
There are verses in the Bible that say that the first shall be last and the last shall be first. I liked translating that into the fat will be skinny and the skinny will be fat ... but that wasn't really the point being made. It means that those who selflessly serve here will be served there. That's going to surprise a lot of us.
Can you imagine having a job that you thoroughly love? Can you imagine working for the King of Kings? I don't think we will tire of that kind of job. I don't expect people to be running off the job early. Here on earth we hate to feel used by people. In heaven we will love the feeling of being used by God to accomplish something for Him.
Many people think we won't work at all in heaven. They think we will just sit around chanting boring songs and trying to memorize the Bible we couldn't remember here. It's funny ... but some people seem to think that the God that made Australia ... would make a boring place for us to hang out for all of eternity. What if heaven was just as perfect as the earth was in the very beginning? Well it will be even better.
I also think we will eat in heaven and that there will be "awesomer" food than here. I actually think many wild things while on my meds! I look forward to seeing Christ. And my Dad and my grandparents and other believers who went hundreds of years ahead of me. It's going to be an incredible reunion. Have you got your ticket? It's free!
The more cashews you eat ... the more weight you will lose. Flights that don't just serve peanuts and Diet Dr. Pepper. Everyone will love their jobs and have 12 weeks vacation to spend in resorts that are free and there will always be room for you. The kids won't slip and fall at the pool. And if you eat in the restaurants ... you select your $25 steak and they bring you the steak and the $25 dollars just to thank you for coming because oh ... by the way ... they work for the King too.
No one is sick! No one is EVER sick! You can ride all the rides in the amusement park 50 times and there is no line, you just stay on and you never get sick. You will never be down on the beach and get a call on your cell phone to hear that Auntie Alice is under the weather. In fact, I want to be the guy in heaven who calls you on the beach and says "Hey Doris, have you heard about Alice? SHE'S STILL DOING GREAT!" And then hang up laughing!
People will be polite. Are you sick of being shouted at on a Monday morning when you're driving slow to work while taking pictures out the window? Oh, that's just me! Well, there's no crying in baseball ... and there's definitely no being nasty or mean in heaven. Imagine not locking your doors. No one is dangerous. The more tattoos you have ... the nicer you are! Ha! I had to knock somebody! Everyone has a Harley. The ones that owned Harleys while here on earth ... will have two Harleys in heaven and no one will be jealous.
Jesus is on the throne ... we won't need lawyers! There won't be any he said she saids.
The Government will rest upon His shoulders. If you don't find that encouraging ... you have had your head in the sand for a while. It seems no matter who it is in politics ... you know it ain't all good. Many people just want to throw the incumbents out because it's too difficult to figure out which ones aren't corrupt. GLORY! One day that will never concern us a bit. All hail King Jesus!
Well, I honestly just had a horrible day today. Sometimes I need to think about life after this life to pick myself back up and get a bit of an eternal perspective on what a bad day here really means. It's small taters. God is still on the throne. Nothing happened anywhere on earth today that had Him lean forward and say "My, My ... Who Saw That Coming?" He remains in control. God is not watching the stock market yelling, "SELL, SELL, SELL!"
I know some of you are thinking I should, "Get A Grip" after reading something like this. But I am here to tell you that heaven is far more incredible than we can imagine. Your wildest dream won't come close to its glory. And heaven can be your future home just for the asking. The Bible says in Acts 16:31, "Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved." Trust Him!
And after a day like today ... I just get a kick out of thinking about things I have still yet to see. I hope you are one of those on the beach that I can call to tell you about Alice.
Have a great weekend. I am really going to get some rest.
NikonSniper Steve